reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
