I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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