hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
