Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
im six kinds of drunk right now
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
