This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
She's like a pop up book from hell.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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