She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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