I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
