I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize