But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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