How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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