In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i drank out of a bidet.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
