You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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