I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
