Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Someone came in the potted fern
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
