I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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