shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
