I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
4 words: hood of his car
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
