i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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