'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
