You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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