I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
