found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
