He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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