Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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