You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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