Quick, to the slutcave!
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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