I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
