WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
How naked do you want me to be?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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