her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
