I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
