The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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