her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
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