i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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