Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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