Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
