gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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