Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
