i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm at about main and main street
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
