how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The feeling are messing with the penis
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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