just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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