he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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