Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
