wanna go halves on a baby?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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