She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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