I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
