just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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