i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize