we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
