He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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