You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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