Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
