I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
