Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
