Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
