I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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