I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize