just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
