And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
