I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
