im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
