Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
