i think my mom watched the whole time
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize