Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
