It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
