SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
