She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
